Elegy: The Road Not Taken

Sometimes I awake,

With thought that it is over,

Have I awaken from this vivid dream?

I need a remake,

A reboot,

A restart button to make it all go away.

The shades of discontent,

Scorched the surface of my present,

The past retaliating,

Clueless thought wonder,

Deep down it ponders,

How far along am I?

This road I'm on,

For what it is naught,

Albeit long filled with plot,

The end within sight,

Sweetness with a simmer of light,

For what is victory,

If naught without pain or fight.

p/s: it's been awhile,excuse the rustiness 

Epilog: Spinning Around

• My father taught me a lot of things. But I don't seem to catch the essence of his many lessons, at least not way back then. I only realize those things, those little details as I was growing up, maturing as some might put it.

• Back then my father would always remind me that to get something, you'd have to do everything in your might in order to get it. Coming from a middle income family, I don't always get them cool stuff, and as many kids would normally react, I'd pester my parents, but it'll usually end up in me getting something similar of a lesser quality, or nothing at all.

• Today, I'm 26 years old, and I still hear echoes of my father's old school advices whilst I was a kid, it doesn't come sprinting to my ears, but rather tones itself melodically every now and then.

• Dah dekat 2 bulan kipas bilik aku rosak. Kipas siling. Dan musim panas pun mula menjenguk malu-malu, kadang terlebih panas, kadang suam kuku. Dan mungkin bagi sesetengah orang, beli kipas baru tu macam beli keropok. Murah dan bersahaja. Not me though, nak cari 140 genih untuk beli kipas baru, banyak benda kena adjust dalam bajet bulanan yang serba serbi sedikit.

• So I reminded myself, everything my father taught me, kalau aku nak kipas siling baru, I've got to make it happen, by myself. Dan dari situ aku pun cari bajet skit dan meniaga air mata kucing dan barli beberapa minggu lepas, dan Alhamdulillah hasil keuntungan sikit-sikit yang dapat tu, boleh la digunapakai untuk beli kipas baru! 

• Obviously, tiada nilai langsung, atau tiada sama apa yang aku buat with whatever my father did all these years, or even whatever orang-orang yang susah selama ini struggle to get out of their cage of hardship, but the little experiences will teach you, bit by bit. Babysteps, yes? :)

Kipas baru!

p/s: a bit slow to update but hey, at least there's an update! 

Epilog: Fius-box meletup

Takdak kipas dikala dok kerap blackout dan bahang summer datang singgah tepuk tampaq pipi dengan manja memang tak sempoi. Apa lagi sambung tulis.

• Dalam kala aku merangkak dalam berbahasa Arab Mesir, aku sedar, saban tahun berlalu, makin aku faham sekerat sekerat apa pensyarah aku berceloteh kat depan. Lama-lama sampai whole sentence disebut kadang-kadang satu perkataan yang tak dapat tangkap.

• Tapi nak faham dan menimba ilmu sains dalam bahasa Arab tu memang perit, bagi aku. Berbual, berborak itu sangatlah santai, tapi bila dalam mode ingin konsentrasi penuh, kena perah otak nak faham apa yang disampaikan pensyarah dan di masa sama otak sibuk nak translate apa yang diperkatakan oleh pensyarah, serius, OTAK AKAN PENAT.

• Sejam pun dah terkapai tercungap nak catch-up, bila pensyarah berceloteh 2 jam berturut, you're bound to blow the infamous fuse in your thinking box.

otak aku bila penat sangat

• Kadang larat aku akan semangat usaha sampai dapat, kadang penat aku tumpas dan langsung lemas lenyap terus dalam khayal minda sendiri.  Tu yang aku dapat idea nak tulis ni, ha dalam kelas tadi, haha.

p/s: 3 posts in 3 days! 

Epilog: Buta Ma'arof

• Seronok hidup kalau kita boleh berbicara pelbagai bahasa. Serious, dunia ini luas, kaya dengan budaya dan tradisi yang unik dan menarik.

• Sampaikan ada orang yang kata kalau kita dapat jadi seorang 'polyglot', kita bagai jutawan kaya, bahasa itu bagaikan harta yang bebas nilai. Tiada akan jatuh nilainya biarpun runtuh foundation dunia. 

• Hari ni aku boleh berbahasa Arab Mesir serba serbi sedikit. beza sedikit Arab loghat Ammiya' (Mesir) jika dibanding dengan dengan Arab Fushah'.

• Teringat hujung tahun lepas masa naik Tremco (mikro-bas a.k.a Van) untuk kembali ke Rumah dari Pasar. Berpeluang berborak dengan seorang pemuda Arab Mesir dan seorang lagi warga Syria. Rancak aku bersembang dengan grammar aku yang bersepah merata, tiba si pemuda Syria tu tanya aku boleh tak aku menulis since aku dah agak boleh berbicara serba serbi. 

• Aku pun kata tak sangat, dia pun kata "oh jadi kau ni macam orang-orang buta huruf kat Mesir ni la *gelak* dan dia cakap dia melawak. Aku tau, lawak yang mengguris ego, haha. Ya bagai orang buta huruf kat Mesir la aku ni. Boleh berkata-kata, tapi tak pandai baca, tak mahir tulis, apa cerita? Banyak lagi nak kena belajaq ni.

• Rahim maarop dah ada, lani kita kira jadi buta maarop la pulak. Aduh

N.B
Polyglot = Kebolehan menguasai pelbagai bahasa; multi-linguist 

p/s: 2 posts in 2 days,yeah!

Epilog: Trauma

• Civilization are tested with crisis just as individuals are tried with adversity. It is these critical moments that brings out the character of a civilization, just as individual tests bring out the character of an individual. 

• Great civilizations measure up to their challenges and grow more resilient with each crisis, turning each adversity faced into an opportunity, much of it also applies to individuals.

• Critical moments in history of our lives, will test our mettle as strong human beings.

Trau·ma

  [trou-muh, traw-]

noun, plural trau·mas, trau·ma·ta  [trou-muh-tuh]

1.

Pathology .

a.

a body wound or shock produced by sudden physical injury, as from violence or accident.

b.

the condition produced by this; traumatism.

2.

Psychiatry.

a.

an experience that produces psychological injury or pain.

b.

the psychological injury so caused.

Origin: 
1685–95;  < Greek traûma  wound

• Last week's incident really took the stuffing out of my pants. Literally was shaking afterwards. Somehow it kept on playing on the back of my mind, what I should've done, how I should've reacted yada yada. 

• Now, everytime I see a bloody police truck I make a humongous distance, leaps and bounds. Hope no one will ever have to go through what I went through. 

p/s: I actually completed a post, albeit dry and arbitrary, haha, this place is so rusty.