Elegy: Hanyut

Tanpa kompas semulajadi,

Mengapai, tercungap tanpa ketetapan hati.

Adakah kompas semulajadi dalam diri?

Apakah ianya resmi hati?

Adakah ianya panggilan jujur dari minda sendiri?

Adapun ia patuh sejati lahir dari arahan Ilahi?

Semua kita pernah hanyut,

Dalam kancah dusta sendiri,

Terperangkap dalam durjana buatan diri,

Termakan kaki dek paku ditukul kendiri.

Waima berdarah,

Punya sifat legakan hati.

Semua kita punya tompok hitam di hati,

Bersihkan diri dengan harapan baru,

Dengan suntikan kalbu Quran disisimu,

Agama dipalu di benak hatimu,

Fikrahmu dahulu lebat berdebu,

Suci kembali niat bersatu!

Punah segala punca,

Hilang arah dalam karenah minda,

Cuba mengapai peluang kedua.

Aku pun begitu juga,

Suatu masa senantiasa dipalit dosa,

Kini mencari sinar keredhaanNya.

Banyak sungguh khilafku,

Kotor sungguh sejarahku.

Tutuplah pintu-pintu itu,

Bakarlah kisah hitammu,

Simpanlah bekas-bekas abu,

Buat pengajaran bagi masa depanmu,

Pengalaman membina kematangan kalbu.

pic:all credits due to ROSENBLUMTv

Epilog : Changes Afoot

• People change, a classic cliche, everyone uses it just about a million times to express changes around them.

• Every single being has their take on people changing, but its difficult caving into giving an opinion as it'll be biased on so many levels of scrutiny.

• We expect people to change completely. That doesn't happen to everyone. For change possess a very unique etiquette about it.

• Time is a variable you'd best not compress, you can't force change upon someone. That's a mistake almost all of us will certainly commit, if not now, sometime in the near future.

• "Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, No matter how slow" - Plato

• Plato's words never truer in this case. No one man should be discouraged when changing or even exploring the option of changing.

• Change. Growing up, I'm sure everyone has gone through their fair share of ups and downs. As I'd lightly put it, its like a black box. A box that shouldn't open even if death is upon them. That pandora box which contains all of our deepest secrets needed to be locked away and the key churned to bits.

• In order to move on, we need not people misjudging us for our past mistakes, our past is only for our knowledge, the knowledge of not repeating such mistakes and the understanding that it has made us stronger ever since.

• Notice how I used misjudging, instead of judging. I have a positive belief that people don't just judge for the sake of judging, they are often in the dark about the situation and come up with their misjudgements.

• Change. If a person even had a hint of progress, never bring them down. Nurture them towards strengthening that progress. Everyone has their variable upon time. We should know better than to push and shove for change.

• A brilliant hadeeth I came across is one where a prostitute helped to relief the thirst of a dog and ended up being in Heaven. God work in many ways we can't even comprehend, and it is a beautiful thing.

• Time. A Variable people will always yearn upon to force some people to change. Allah's guidance(hedaya') comes in many many miraculous ways.

• Never judge. Never ever force change. Let it flow. Like drops of water on hard impenetrable rocks, it will soon soften the edges before reaching the insides. Wallahualam'

All rights reserved to the owner of the image used above.

Elegy : A Sonnet for Palestine (edited 2009 version)

A Sonnet for Palestine

By Ahmad Naeem Bin Mohd Nadir

O when time comes,

They will see,

They will beg,

But how will we react?

To these nonchalant cries of help?

This boy with a stone in his hand,

Lashing the Zions monstrous tanks,

A process of David vs Goliath,

With fight and trust is in Allah,

This kid defends his sacred land,

An unfair fight till the end.

A death sentence that leads to paradise,

A cause they suffer to suffice,

They will ask then,

Oh where, where were we?

We so called pompous populace,

Sat back and watch the Quds subside!!

Our prayers is what they need,

Together standing we are as one creed,

Let our souls intertwine as one,

Struggles we’ll face together no longer we’ll run,

Show the world the unity that lies within,

Let them have it,

Let them see true passion indeed.

Our prayers like bullets,

Let them fly,

Shoot down the Zionist barricades,

Our prayers like armors,

Let them seek,

Protect the Quds and that He will fulfill their needs.

This blood they feed on,

Dead bodies they lie upon,

Let’s pray, let’s all pray,

Let them be strong,

For this fight is going to last quite long.

Prophecy dictates our victory after swansong!

NB. Originally written back in 2009, “refurbished” in 2011. With love and all truest of beliefs that Palestine will be free, inshaAllah.

Epilog: ..Of Marginal Margins

• Margins, visible margins that guide our lives, those boundaries that sometimes fizzles out of shape when tested.

• These cross references we set intentionally, in order to establish where we draw that certain line, when everything goes out of hand.

• We're beings with feelings, amidst a mix of it, sometimes we're happy, other times we're gloomy. Is that line that we draw, that sometimes dictate our self persuasion of what we feel.

• Margins, we need to learn to establish it within our own strength, never allow others to poison our thoughts in changing it. Once the margins are established we can conquer any given obstacles.

• Margins, it's a self issue, it's interactions, it's public manner. Of how far you can be pushed, to conduct yourself the way you think you should behave, approximate to how your surrounding reacts.

• Margins, it's boundaries you get to choose to ensure you get what you want, when time comes, when its crunch time, its time for selflessness, pushing for your goals, and not attempting to save others.

• Margins, is knowing that when it's time, you have to put the oxygen mask and assure oxygen assistance upon yourself before attempting to save others, its about being selfish in a nice way, not in a ruthless I don't care no more way.

• Margins, it's me and you, its how we talk, its how you and I get where we are, its the understanding in between. It's a trust you can never break, because once you do, it's a crooked margin, with no ends and no means.
  

"You see, if you ever wanted to ever be anything
There'd always be somebody that shoot down any dream"

Elegy: North Bound Highway

I remember,
The laughter,
The scarce cry for a future,
The purple covers craved after,
Searching eternal bliss forever.

We pondered,
5 hours non-squandered,
We gazed into the future,
Crashing thoughts,
Caught in a cluster,
North Bound Highway,
I reminisce altogether.

A sin now for sure,
Can't never conjure,
Bringing myself back together,
What in God's name am I doing here,
I believe its your call my dear,
It's His gift of uncalled pleasure,
Goodbye..ever after.


p/s: the picture used doesn't belong to me. all rights reserved to its real owner.

Epilog : Still Running

• The title writes itself I guess. Running, a passion of mine by which I can never master upon the art of perfecting it.

• I always run by myself, alone. It's better to go by yourself at your pace. When I was in CUCMS I had Dzul, one hell of a runner, who never stops pushing himself.

• I never found myself to be a long distance runner till I was at the end of school. That was when realized it, there and then, I would have to do this more often, that this was gonna be my thing.

• And from there on out, I never looked back. I love running long distance. I always look to join marathons and charity runs.This wasn't for the sake of competing, but it's to learn more by observing others and put myself to test.

• The one thing I hold onto when running is that, you plug in your earphones, you begin your run, and never ever look back. Always beat the small fearful soul in your mind, the voice that tells you to stop, these negativity has to be fought.

• I will never consider myself a professional or anything even remotely close, as I do it, just because I love it. I do it out of my love of exploring and pushing myself to the extreme.

• A lot of people always say that they can't run long distance, they can't endure those painful long non stop jogs. It's all a myth. The secret is that when you give it a go and never look back, you will unlock the best part of your limits, and all the undying negativity that stops you will be blown away.

• When running, all you need is, proper clothing, running shoes and a good ass mp3 player loaded with songs that gives you that extra oomph. and oh yeah, JUST DO IT.

Lupe Fiasco - Letting Go Ft Sarah Green

I don't usually post the lyrics altogether, but I just love this song, and it means an awful lot to me, hope it could take you away the way it did to me. Brilliant lyrics and tune.



Things are getting outta control
Feels like I'm running out of soul
You are getting too heavy to hold
Think I'll be letting you go

[Verse 1: Lupe Fiasco]
My self portrait shows a man that the wealth tortured
Self-absorbed with his own self-forfeit
A shelf full of awards
Worshiping the war ships that set sail on my sea of life
When I see my own self I wonder if we still see a light
We was tight seeing lights
Speaking right and breathing life
Now I see my demons and barely even sleep at night
I don't get high life keep me at a decent height
As the old me I predicted all my recent plights
Exhausted. Trying to fall asleep. Losses at my recent fights
Burdens on my shoulders now, burnin' all my motives down
Inspiration drying up, motivation slowing down


I'm begging me don't let me go
We vow like the letter "Oh"
To never go our separate ways
And spin-off into separate shows
Tired of all the wardrobe changin'
Playing all these extra roles
Filled with all these different spirits
Livin' off these separate souls
Point in life is getting hollow
Can't wait for the exit hole
Give me room. The entry room. Let me in and let me go
So I can roam around this wilderness
See it for what it really is
I'm prepared to filter list
Magnify the youth in me, alibi the shootin' spree
Amplify the revolution, sanitize the lunacy
Strip away the justice, justify the scrutiny
I can see the lasers shootin' out of you and me



[Bridge: Lupe Fiasco]
Sometimes I feel like the world—
Sometimes I feel like the world is against me
And everything that I've done before
I swear we used to be so pure
But we can't be in love no more
Cause I don't wanna fight this war
But when I put down my gun
I turn around and pick up one
This uzi weighs a ton, but I think I'm done!





All Rights Reserved to LUPE FIASCO

Elegy : United States of the Insane

Bullets like your words,

Pierces my medulla,
Send shivers on my scapula,
Farewell to our ties.


Fond memories within,
Seems puzzled with direction,
Lost in translation,
Game over to your ignorance.


There's a mental barricade,
Pull yourself some brakes,
Amnesia's a common mistake.
Your mind is intertwined.


Will this tune ever stop?
Our egos made us proud,
This cracked portrait,
You and I,
We'll go crazy for awhile.

Picture was exported from (all credits of the picture goes to ) http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lidlepCkco1qb8j2io1_r5_500.jpg

Elegy : Blank Pages

Clouds outside your bed,
Their shades grew again,
You've been gone for long,
We're back to square one,
The square is now none.

Are we long far gone?
You had to go with time,
I ran out of mine,
I had no more rhyme,
Going out of my mind.

These blank pages,
Intertwined ,
Let this be signs,
Of the us we sighs,
Is the us of demise.

Lotus Flower - Radiohead

Ice-cool swerving moves, damn.

Number 100 : Dream come TRUE

!

Post no 100, since the dawn of the new year, I had been consistent in posting, so that's good for me, for my silent readers (whosoever you are, thanks).

For all these years I have had football in me, for 13 years I had supported Liverpool, through its highs and lows.

And cometh the day I was standing in front of Anfield, I must say, every single time I watch and hear the roars in TV I was mystified, I felt such rush in me, the chants, all the singing the sense of togetherness.

THIS IS ANFIELD.





There's no other place like it. One of football's most feared grounds. I have stepped inside of it, I can now proudly say. I smirked purposefully, I was overjoyed. To watch my favorite team in Anfield, is a dream come true.

Even though I had to save money for up to 2 years, but the experience and the thought of finally being here has blown everything away.

Despite the game being a draw, I had my moment that I will never forget, I managed to get 8 signatures from Liverpool players. (Lucas, Kelly,Aurelio, Reina, Kuyt,Johnson, Suarez, N'gog)

This one is from one Luis Suarez! Liverpool's new no.7 !!



All in all a day I will never forget. Am still in Liverpool, relaxing before I get back to Egypt on the 1st of March, my next visit is a game Vs SPARTA! European night! The dream continues

YNWA!!

Epilog : Evacuation Emancipation

• Of Riots, Chaos and Anarchy.

• Disorder in Egypt. Their hate was boiling, but kept inside, the bubble of rage burst open when Tunisia's act of throwing out their ruler happened. That was the spark.

• What does this mean to me then? What does this mean to the 10's of thousands of students pursuing their goals, degrees and passion here?

• How quickly can things change? What does it mean to be stranded in a war bravely fought but you are the non-deserving entity standing there?

• How sad is it, that when Malaysians are stranded, when we needed to be transported, some politicians could still rant, point fingers and blame each other.

• What happened to securing the lives of the students first, I had never had a strong side to politics nor have I choose sides. I am always with my stand, but this is ridiculous.

• And don't even get me started with our mass media. Hyperbole, exaggeration, the likes of which we've never seen.

• I get it, everyone's worried, everyone's panicked out of their trousers back home, the first thing they shouldn't do is invigorate the terror to new heights.

• Parents are generally insecure, with their child going off first time into an unknown territory, and the media lashing out all sorts of unnecessary updates, expect panic like never before.

• Obviously the rioting was all happening, just not all of us are really affected face to face by whatever it is that's being reported.

• Moreover, what us students report back or complain to our friends and family, those words then spreads out and goes out of hand.

• In classical Malaysian lingo we'd call this "Talifon KARAT". A piece of news that goes about landing from one ear to another, but as it gets along the A becomes B than it somehow transforms to F,G and so on.

• So that's the flaw there, everyone has their role to play to ensure only the REAL stuff gets through instead of all this non-progressive, immoral reports that's only going to escalate nerves of already worrying parents.

• Now that the situation is slowly receding, we are left questioning when we'll be starting our classes, and there are others left in Jeddah who are awaiting their turns to be transported back to Malaysia.

• Hopefully everything goes well, for the stranded group and Egypt, to be honest their revolution has been long time coming. It is here now, lets hope Egypt gets their long awaited justice and peace they've been seeking. Ameen ya Rab.

Epilog : Revivication from Damnation (part 2)

• Sleep patterns are all messed up again. But I'm enjoying my new schedule, it allows me to rest and stay up for an unbelievable amount of time.

• Feels like I am abandoning the laws of nature and skipping time barrier. Yack yiggidy yack.

• Here's how I throw down. Night during winter is longer, ranges from 5pm - 6am.

• So, right after Maghrib prayers, I'd go to sleep for 5 to 6 hours and I'll be up at 12am and could push and study till 12pm.That's a wholesome 12 hours!!

• In Egypt, the streets comes to life around 6 - 11pm. So, its a nice time to be in deep sleep anyways, because by the time I get up, the noise is gone and everyone is about to go to bed.

• 5 more papers to go before I could thoroughly rest. The 3 papers so far was bit of hit and miss, the last 5 will shape my grades, I think. Pray for me and me results, please.
  

• and oh, I am not a Vampire and Twilight SUCKS. End
  

Elegy : Astaghfirullah

Dark memory,
Crept back to me,
Reminisce what's gone,
Never necessary,
Did what I had to,
This word "Dolorous",
Ever present in my dictionary .


It's never bleak,
Never not throbbing,
This heart is hurting,
This hurt magnifying,
One second its gone,
Never ever forgotten.


I pray,
Every night every way,
Trying to wash away,
These ghosts of misery,
Till death parts with me,
Sold my soul consciously,
That's inhumane of me.


Float off to future me,
Legs pulled down,
Struck back to reality,
It's ugly,
What I did,
What I become,
Scarred for eternity.


Till the day Death comes, its Astaghfirullah cure me.

Epilog : Revivication from Damnation

I can ask for a million things, but friends I ask for your prayers, your wishes.
This is going to be a challenging month ahead,Rabbi Yassir Walla Tu'asir. All the best to everyone with their exams as well.

Epilog : Moving On

• Trying hard to make time to jump in, and write stuff seems impossible nowadays. I have never been a regular posting kind of blogger, but from time to time I admit I would love to post some thoughts.

• It is becoming increasingly difficult because I find myself doing too much reading that sometimes I lost track of what I need to write.
  

• Pouring the inevitable salt to an open wound, I tend to go astray with my thoughts and for that I feel an outburst of shame for being unable to convert them to words and postings.

• Hopefully this would all change, I write only because of my love to portray my thoughts into words, and since writing had become somewhat a moot option in these modern era, blogging it out seems the reasonable thing to do.

• Hence, moving on. Peace, Love and Selamat.

p/s: need to refurbish this new layout, to you people whom I have linked wrongly please send me your new links and will link it up inshaAllah. =)