1. Contact Inhibition

Loss of contact inhibition.

This is one of the many characteristics of a Malignant neoplasm (in simpler terms Tumor or a type of Cancer).

Contact inhibition keep cells in our body in check. Imagine if you will, two cells, A and B, both growing side by side, at a steady rate. Contact inhibition help the cells to grow simultaneously without having to outgrow or encroach each other's space. When a cell experiences loss of inhibition it will outgrow it's neighbour and go out of control.

Such is the case when it comes to our lives, we always need to push each other, in a positive direction, so that we'll both grow in an appreciable manner. In certain situations, you'll see someone close improve or become better, this keeps you in check, allows you to work, make amends and improve as well.

This is the case with many great sports teams, they have a few individuals who are better than the rest, who are constantly improving and consistently performing that it'll lift those around them to do better as well. That's a characteristic that is alien to many, but whenever present it's such an invaluable asset.

It's always great to see someone close to us achieve something great, but sometimes our ego gets in the way,pries it way into your brain and tells you to hate it. Never allow that to happen, always keep it in place and use the achievement of others to help aspire ourselves to be better.

When a cell loses it's contact inhibition, it goes out of control, and that'll lead to something called Metaplasia, whereby it changes it's shape into something different, different from it's neighbouring cells. Can you imagine being one of those cells, looking at the metaplasia ridden cell, high and mighty, all coked up with success and  it has literally forget what it was once before. Never let success change who you once were, we're all self-conscious but never in a million years will we ever admit it. Don't ever lose your contact inhibition, it keeps you in place, peaceful and satisfied.  

Elegi : Aturan Leksikon

Susun gerak langkah,

Berkunjung ke kamar ingatanya,

Terkenang peristiwa,

Pabila jiwa dirayapi sepi,

Itulah insan,

Tatkala suka,

Dikuap damai dan tenang,

Singgah sang badai,

Memberi ingat,

Dalam suka,

Bertatih ke langit,

Tanpa disangka,

Petir memanah,

Oh perit!

Terhumban ke realiti,

Imaginasi kaku,

Kematian bicara,

Tiada lagi mimpi-mimpi,

Lolos ruh dari jasad ini.

Elegy :The Last Message

A wry smile,When I saw

A buzzing red light,The last message,

Twas cold,Mysterious,

As it shivers down my spine,

Then it all went quiet,

Only  buzz from the static,

A company through the night,

Faithful till sun glistens,

See you on the other side.

Epilog: Penyakit Pelik

Aku ada satu sindrom. Satu "penyakit". Satu kelakuan pelik. 

Ini contoh senario supaya mudah faham.

Di bawah bangunan rumah aku, ada kedai runcit, kedai roti dan kedai sayur. Kebiasaan aku akan beli roti dan sayur di kedai lain sebab kedai lain kualiti dan pilihan lagi menarik.

Jadi bila aku beli roti atau sayuran dari kedai lain, aku akan cuba sedaya upaya untuk tak lalu kedai bawah rumah aku, jadi aku ambil lencongan jalan lain.

Akan timbul perasaan bersalah kalau tiba-tiba pakcik kedai roti atau sayur bawah rumah nampak aku beli barangan tapi bukan dari kedai-kedai mereka. 

Pelik kan? Dalam kebanyakan orang,aku kira reaksi pastinya "aku punya duit, aku punya suka nak beli kat mana" Tapi bukan aku.

Aku ada "penyakit". Tapi aku tak mahu sembuh darinya. I'll gladly take this as a gift, it makes me feel human. 

"Into the great wide open
Under them skies of blue
Out in the great wide open
A rebel without a clue"

Epilog : Terawih or Terawikh?

• If you're here to get an answer, than this is definitely the wrong place. But I'll let you know, it's terawih. That incessant -KH added by some never existed as far as I'm concerned.

• Teringat aku masa kecik dulu, masa ikut family terawih kat Masjid USM. Masa kecik dulu nakal, jadi masa orang solat kat depan kebiasaan budak-budak saf belakang nanti bertaburan.

• Geng kami lepak dihujung satu penjuru. Main tepuk kad, kadang main nama negeri, kadang main sepak-sepak tangan (aku tak pasti nama asal apa) dan semua jenis permainan yang percuma, tapi sangatlah berbaloi.

• Ok, tak berbaloi in terms of ponteng solat. Dan lagi kartun, kami duduk di penjuru, sakan bermain, bila Imam dah nak bagi salam, masing-masing buat saf dan bagi salam sama-sama dengan jemaah Masjid lain. Memang hantu. Haha.

• Tapi gamaknya semua dah besaq lani dan berubah jadi lebih baik, inshaAllah. 

tepuk kad. awesome!

 

Epilog: One Day

One day.

One fine day. When dust finally settles. Then we can speak freely about those wasted years.

Those years went by, twas eons ago or at least it felt like it, but every time you reminisce, the thought of it would make your old scars reappear, your wounds reopen with a dash of salt dusted upon it.

But the salt won't make the taste feel better, it stuns you, it simmers your insides, with a mindful silence. An unfathomable vigour.

The past is like a book you've read, that's bittersweet while it lasted. Like an emotional roller-coaster, that gives you that adrenaline rush, but once you reread it, the rush will quickly be crushed. 

The past. Open and shut. Like a splinter at the back of our minds. A teacher armed with a double edged sword. Twisted yet sensible. Crazed yet manageable. 

One day. 

Elegy: Algoritma Kehancuran

Tiada selesai masalah dunia,

Asyiknya berdegar diruang maya,

Tidur kembali sang harapan,

Kenyang melantak helah insan,

Putarlah bumi pada paksinya,

Tetap tegak tamadun manusia,

Terpasak ditambat materialis,

Nun disana hilai tawa sang Iblis.

Kerja bodoh orang gila.

Qalbu mahukan dunia baru,

Tulang empat kerat malas berkerja,

Masa terbuang semakin singkat,

Tanah dikejar semakin mampat.

Hampar tikar,

Duduk bersila,

Tanggung dua biji kelapa,

Di atas kepala,
Tutup mata,
Dengar-dengarkan,

Gelak tawa satu dunia.

Epilog: Habit-at-at-at-at (echoes)

• Manusia sering dikonotasikan sebagai creature of habit. Habit can be both good or bad.

• Tabiat secara berterusan, baik mahupun jahat, akan membentuk individu itu secara menyeluruh.

• Tabiat, seperti segala benda dalam kehidupan harian kita, boleh dibuang maupun ditambah.

• Teringat 2 tahun lepas ketika menghadiri seminar Productive Muslim, salah seorang speaker menyebut tentang cara untuk menyingkirkan tabiat buruk atau asimilasi tabiat baik dalam kehidupan harian.

• He proposed using a habitator. A chart that allows you to monitor your progress within a month, there's columns of days within a month and rows that allow you to write the particular habit you'd like to develop or get rid of. Check it out, click here.

• Pada akhir tempoh 30 hari , kalau jumlah tanda bagi sesuatu tabiat secara spesifik itu lebih banyak, dalam kes tabiat yang baik, maka ia berjaya diasimilasi dalam kehidupan harian kita, it's the opposite in case of bad habits.

-----------------------------------

ok stay with me for this one, aku nak mengarut, layan ja...

• Senja-senja ni aku duduk, secara random ternampak perkataan 'Habitat'. Aku pun terpikiaq, habitat ni membawa maksud tempat atau environment dimana satu kehidupan membiak/membangun, kan?

• Kalau perkataan Habitat ni kita cerai jadi 2 syllable nanti akan jadi HABIT-AT, kan? Jadi maksud dia kalau diasingkan ikut syllable tu, jadi = Rutin/Tabiat yang senantiasa diulang - disesuatu tempat. 

• Jadilah Habitat itu lebih bermakna bila kita sebut atau gunapakai dalam ayat. ya'ni bukan sekadar tempat atau ruang environment kita membiak/membesar, tapi tempat lahirnya seseorang, membesar dan mempraktikkan rutin-rutin harian baik maupun jahat. 

• Itulah Habitat, dan kita, sering dicanang menjadi Creatures of Habit :) 

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” -Aristotle

p/s: aku baca dari atas sampai bawah, kalau ada graf mengarut, maka graf tu akan naik secara mendadak dikala hampa sampai hujung post ni.panjang la pulak, biasa la benda mengarut ni biasa meleret. tq for reading, adieu

Elegy: The Road Not Taken

Sometimes I awake,

With thought that it is over,

Have I awaken from this vivid dream?

I need a remake,

A reboot,

A restart button to make it all go away.

The shades of discontent,

Scorched the surface of my present,

The past retaliating,

Clueless thought wonder,

Deep down it ponders,

How far along am I?

This road I'm on,

For what it is naught,

Albeit long filled with plot,

The end within sight,

Sweetness with a simmer of light,

For what is victory,

If naught without pain or fight.

p/s: it's been awhile,excuse the rustiness 

Epilog: Spinning Around

• My father taught me a lot of things. But I don't seem to catch the essence of his many lessons, at least not way back then. I only realize those things, those little details as I was growing up, maturing as some might put it.

• Back then my father would always remind me that to get something, you'd have to do everything in your might in order to get it. Coming from a middle income family, I don't always get them cool stuff, and as many kids would normally react, I'd pester my parents, but it'll usually end up in me getting something similar of a lesser quality, or nothing at all.

• Today, I'm 26 years old, and I still hear echoes of my father's old school advices whilst I was a kid, it doesn't come sprinting to my ears, but rather tones itself melodically every now and then.

• Dah dekat 2 bulan kipas bilik aku rosak. Kipas siling. Dan musim panas pun mula menjenguk malu-malu, kadang terlebih panas, kadang suam kuku. Dan mungkin bagi sesetengah orang, beli kipas baru tu macam beli keropok. Murah dan bersahaja. Not me though, nak cari 140 genih untuk beli kipas baru, banyak benda kena adjust dalam bajet bulanan yang serba serbi sedikit.

• So I reminded myself, everything my father taught me, kalau aku nak kipas siling baru, I've got to make it happen, by myself. Dan dari situ aku pun cari bajet skit dan meniaga air mata kucing dan barli beberapa minggu lepas, dan Alhamdulillah hasil keuntungan sikit-sikit yang dapat tu, boleh la digunapakai untuk beli kipas baru! 

• Obviously, tiada nilai langsung, atau tiada sama apa yang aku buat with whatever my father did all these years, or even whatever orang-orang yang susah selama ini struggle to get out of their cage of hardship, but the little experiences will teach you, bit by bit. Babysteps, yes? :)

Kipas baru!

p/s: a bit slow to update but hey, at least there's an update! 

Epilog: Fius-box meletup

Takdak kipas dikala dok kerap blackout dan bahang summer datang singgah tepuk tampaq pipi dengan manja memang tak sempoi. Apa lagi sambung tulis.

• Dalam kala aku merangkak dalam berbahasa Arab Mesir, aku sedar, saban tahun berlalu, makin aku faham sekerat sekerat apa pensyarah aku berceloteh kat depan. Lama-lama sampai whole sentence disebut kadang-kadang satu perkataan yang tak dapat tangkap.

• Tapi nak faham dan menimba ilmu sains dalam bahasa Arab tu memang perit, bagi aku. Berbual, berborak itu sangatlah santai, tapi bila dalam mode ingin konsentrasi penuh, kena perah otak nak faham apa yang disampaikan pensyarah dan di masa sama otak sibuk nak translate apa yang diperkatakan oleh pensyarah, serius, OTAK AKAN PENAT.

• Sejam pun dah terkapai tercungap nak catch-up, bila pensyarah berceloteh 2 jam berturut, you're bound to blow the infamous fuse in your thinking box.

otak aku bila penat sangat

• Kadang larat aku akan semangat usaha sampai dapat, kadang penat aku tumpas dan langsung lemas lenyap terus dalam khayal minda sendiri.  Tu yang aku dapat idea nak tulis ni, ha dalam kelas tadi, haha.

p/s: 3 posts in 3 days! 

Epilog: Buta Ma'arof

• Seronok hidup kalau kita boleh berbicara pelbagai bahasa. Serious, dunia ini luas, kaya dengan budaya dan tradisi yang unik dan menarik.

• Sampaikan ada orang yang kata kalau kita dapat jadi seorang 'polyglot', kita bagai jutawan kaya, bahasa itu bagaikan harta yang bebas nilai. Tiada akan jatuh nilainya biarpun runtuh foundation dunia. 

• Hari ni aku boleh berbahasa Arab Mesir serba serbi sedikit. beza sedikit Arab loghat Ammiya' (Mesir) jika dibanding dengan dengan Arab Fushah'.

• Teringat hujung tahun lepas masa naik Tremco (mikro-bas a.k.a Van) untuk kembali ke Rumah dari Pasar. Berpeluang berborak dengan seorang pemuda Arab Mesir dan seorang lagi warga Syria. Rancak aku bersembang dengan grammar aku yang bersepah merata, tiba si pemuda Syria tu tanya aku boleh tak aku menulis since aku dah agak boleh berbicara serba serbi. 

• Aku pun kata tak sangat, dia pun kata "oh jadi kau ni macam orang-orang buta huruf kat Mesir ni la *gelak* dan dia cakap dia melawak. Aku tau, lawak yang mengguris ego, haha. Ya bagai orang buta huruf kat Mesir la aku ni. Boleh berkata-kata, tapi tak pandai baca, tak mahir tulis, apa cerita? Banyak lagi nak kena belajaq ni.

• Rahim maarop dah ada, lani kita kira jadi buta maarop la pulak. Aduh

N.B
Polyglot = Kebolehan menguasai pelbagai bahasa; multi-linguist 

p/s: 2 posts in 2 days,yeah!

Epilog: Trauma

• Civilization are tested with crisis just as individuals are tried with adversity. It is these critical moments that brings out the character of a civilization, just as individual tests bring out the character of an individual. 

• Great civilizations measure up to their challenges and grow more resilient with each crisis, turning each adversity faced into an opportunity, much of it also applies to individuals.

• Critical moments in history of our lives, will test our mettle as strong human beings.

Trau·ma

  [trou-muh, traw-]

noun, plural trau·mas, trau·ma·ta  [trou-muh-tuh]

1.

Pathology .

a.

a body wound or shock produced by sudden physical injury, as from violence or accident.

b.

the condition produced by this; traumatism.

2.

Psychiatry.

a.

an experience that produces psychological injury or pain.

b.

the psychological injury so caused.

Origin: 
1685–95;  < Greek traûma  wound

• Last week's incident really took the stuffing out of my pants. Literally was shaking afterwards. Somehow it kept on playing on the back of my mind, what I should've done, how I should've reacted yada yada. 

• Now, everytime I see a bloody police truck I make a humongous distance, leaps and bounds. Hope no one will ever have to go through what I went through. 

p/s: I actually completed a post, albeit dry and arbitrary, haha, this place is so rusty.